News from Wallaby Ridge

There have been jubilant scenes at the Wallaby Ridge council chambers over the past few days.  In a series of meetings, the Shire Administrators have clinched a deal with the Chairman of U-Win Gaming P/L, Mr Lou “Lucky” Grasp.   Under the terms of the agreement, gaming machines are to be installed in the newly named Eunice Cakebread Memorial Hall and at other selected locations.  The Shire is about to launch a competition at the local school to come up with a suitable name for the new casino at Cakebread Hall.   Announcing the agreement yesterday, the CEO, Basil Scrivener said that “this will move Wallaby Ridge into the 21st Century and greatly bolster the local economy”.

There has been limited opposition to the new deal.  A spokesperson for the Wallaby Ridge Senior Citizens, former occupants of the Cakebread Hall, said that some members were finding it difficult to travel out to their new meeting venue at the East Bagshot Mechanics Institute. The future of the latter building is also under review by the recently constituted Public Amenities Rationalisation Committee and there are rumours that the Hall may be sold off.  Some of the Wallaby Ridge Churches have also voiced concerns. Father Daniel O’Herlihy, PP of St. Agnes’, said that he had been resisting pressure from “progressive elements” to install gaming machines in the narthex of the church .  The local branch of the Salvation Army has also shown little enthusiasm re the “new economic miracle”.  A spokesperson for the S.A. has told the Wallaby Creek Office of the Clarion that demand for emergency supplies, particularly 20 cent coins, has been overwhelming.  In a conciliatory gesture, U-Win Gaming P/L has offered to place machines in the Salvation Army Hall at a much reduced fee.

Fears of widespread social problems and poverty attending the introduction of these machines seem to be largely unfounded.  A recent cost-benefit analysis of the local gaming industry by academic and noted economist, Dr. Angus Forehead, B.Ag.Sc., PhD., indicates that the net economic gain from the Casino will be considerable.  Using the Reinhart-Fourier sociological model, Dr. Forehead has predicted that the new industry will vastly enhance social cohesion and stability as well as assisting the economy in a tangible way.